Sunshines and Morning Glory

Isn't it a beauty ? As quoted from "Most trusted source , Wikipedia" : Most morning glory flowers unravel into full bloom in the early morning. The flowers usually start to fade a couple of hours before the "petals" start showing visible curling. They prefer full solar exposure throughout the day and mesic soils. Naise :B

But I'm not here to talk about the flower . I'm here to talk about the Morning Glory phenomena . Or commonly known as the morning wood . What is the morning wood ? Before I proceed , do note the following paragraphs are obscene in nature , though for the sake of Science , let's get on with it . (I warned you D:)

Quoted from Wikipedia : "Nocturnal penile tumescence (informally known as "morning wood" or "morning glory") is the spontaneous occurrence of an erection of the penis during sleep. All men without physiological erectile dysfunction experience this phenomenon, usually three to five times during the night. Remember those boner you get in the morning and then your sister or mom goes yelling : EEEWWWW . WHAT IN YOUR PANTS . Yeap , its Science .

Yes , also known as The Boner.

Hey ! I swear its for Science ! For the last time !

So , is it good to have that morning wood thingy every time you wake up ? Some might agree , some might disagree . I'll list down why and why not according to my own experience . (Didn't i said it was obscene in nature , well too late !)

Thumbs up :

1. Masculinity
Nothing stands out more than seeing your manhood in the morning , long and hard  (Damn can't you feel the manliness already !) When we wake up in the morning clueless and have no idea what the fuck we're suppose to do that day , know that your boner stands out , like a gifted kid among the not so gifted kids . Always walk with pride , but don't strut . Seriously . No joke .

That is strutting and imagine doing that with a boner .

2. Fertility
Believe it or not , having a boner in the morning , means your free of ED (Erectile Dysfunction) syndrome . Hey isn't it obvious , if your **** is hard , what more can you assume ? Your a perfectly healthy male , that I can tell you even though I'm not a doctor myself . And you know what does fertility means ? Its babies making time bitches . Start up the main generator !

Someone said babies ?!? WHERE!

3. Star Wars Lightsaber Fight
Boner + Lightsaber whooshing sound = Epic Mind***k. I shall not go further and perhaps let your imagination run wild .

Brilliante idea on the lightsaber ! Carry on !

But , there are the why not too . Here is a list.

1. Embarrassment

Imagine sleeping while having a morning wood , and then someone comes in your room without knocking . Oh look ! What is that thing protruding from your boxers ! MOTHER OF GOD.......Hell it gets worst if your sister or mom comes in . And then they start to make up all sorts of conclusion regarding the length , height and whatever shits that is to do with your manhood  . FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU-

What has been seen , can't be unseen .

2. Toilet Trouble
My momma always say , when I have a boner , it means I needed to use the toilet . And I believed her . But then gradually , I found out going to the toilet is the hardest thing while having a morning wood . Do you know how long it takes just to finish peeing ?  How could she lied to me !

Even peeing . That little bastard.

3. Wrong Impression

Waking up with a boner ? Ok either people are going to think you're going to **** them in the ass or if you have male siblings , they're going to think you're gay as hell . Sorry man , that is how things work around here . Either you're a complete ***ker or a complete ass-***ked dude .

Must.......resist...........

So that is all about the thoughts I've in mind . Perhaps some of you guys (male readers) have a different experience or rather from the (female readers) . *awkward silence* Pardon me for any part that is incomprehensible , I'm writing this while being half asleep (even though i slept for a while) So , remember to come back and check out the latest post , because the next post will be analytical in nature . (Hey , anything for Science right ? ) Ciao !

Stoopidity 101 For Smart-Asses Politician in Malaysia

Albert Einstein once said , Only two things are infinite , the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Well I can honestly and proudly acknowledge the truth in that statement through recent "happenings among the political scene in Malaysia" . Let's talk about politics . Politics in Malaysia . (I may be charge under the Sedition Act but what the heck. )

Foremost , I'd like to point out that bravery and stupidity is an entirely different thing and should not come under the....Hey , aren't you smart enough to know the difference ??!

YA RLY .

So recently , our politicians , mostly from the ruling party and federal government , decided to show their cleverness . Oh yea , real clever indeed by claiming one of the Opposition's key member that their child had violated another girl by molestation , if you read the news recently . What the Fuck ? If the Federal Government wants to condemn the Opposition , by all means go ahead , but what the Fuck is with targeting another member's family just to bring them down is just plain stupid . And it gets even stupider when they use a doctored photo to strengthen that claim . AND THE STUPIDEST WHEN THAT SAID PERSON DOCTORED IS A GRANDMASTER IN CHESS . 

So Hardcore !

It is so stupid that it makes me or the citizens of Malaysia wonder how the fuck they ended up administrating this country . No wonder this shithole (Pardon me) is hopeless as my parents said , that a future here is to spell doom . Yea , that explains why we're having a brain drain . 

Love it or Leave it policy . Basically it means , If you don't like staying , GTFO pls.

And as this fiasco gets widespread attention , our deputy Prime Minister cum Education Minister (unfortunately and God Bless the education system) then remarks and shows everyone how stupid he is . 


....Muhyiddin told the media on Saturday 22 October 2011 that if the Penang chief minister “thinks it is important to correct the information, then he has to come up with a strong statement; mere denial is not enough.” - Statement given by our Deputy PM cum Education Minister on 22nd October.

Oh wait , HOW STUPID I AM . I FORGOT SOMETHING . 

“I have never met or even heard of any of the people involved. I have never been physically assaulted in any way. I have never been victimized in any way by this boy or his family.
“The only way in which my ‘modesty was outraged’ has been by the publication of my picture in connection with these scurrilous and unfounded rumours,” the undergraduate at Wellesley College said in a statement. - Statement given by Anya Sun Corke on 21st October .



Wait....SEE the DATES . And then laugh at how stupid our politician is . And I don't know if I should be shedding tears because I'm laughing too hard or because he is our Education Minister . Perhaps both . 

Indeed.

That being said , Malaysia is now a fucking embarrassment with the stupidity of said politicians . Christ , and we let them run the fucking country , how ironic . So if you're over 21 and reading this , PLEASE GO REGISTER YOURSELF NOW AND VOTE THE SHIT OUTTA THEM . I can't stand the stupidity they've shown and this was the last straw . (I'm still under 21 though) And yes they are more stupid stuff being done by our politicians and I'm not going to go into it . I'm afraid I'll have brain damage due to the amount of stupidity being shown . Phew , I feel like shooting those politicians already . Lawl . Ciao !

P.S : I'm not affiliated with any political parties.



P.P.S : I'm not going to shoot the politicians , maybe just those who are stupid .

Predictability

So yes there is a video spreading in Facebook showing a toddler getting run over by a vehicle , twice . Oh yea , its cruel . So cruel indeed that it makes other untold cruelty cases so oblivious to the public  . Perhaps you might think being sarcastic doesn't really show my sympathetic nature , but then there are other cruelties happening , perhaps RIGHT NOW that isn't being videoed or witnessed . People tend to see the obvious and even though they know the world is pretty fucked up , some refuse to give a damn about whats going on , until a video of that fucked up-ness shows up and they get all cranky .

Oh there is a pebble on the floor till I don't even see where the fuck am I going !

What I meant is , let's be honest shall we ? These kinds of shit happens everyday . Man in generally is capable of anything . By man here I do not refer to the gender of masculinity but Man as a species . So when one video shows a toddle getting run over , everyone goes fucking nuts , starts condemning the cruelty and all . And when there is an absence of such videos , everyone minds their own businesses and shits . And then something like that pops up , then that condemnation and rage starts to fire up . Now do you see a pattern ?

Kids around the world getting kidnapped and then forced to beg ? Vids or GTFO . And I'm not a kid , so I'm not a target.

Sees a video of kid getting kidnap on the streets . Then thinks , What The Fuck is wrong with Humanity !??!

Truth is , yea sure go ahead and condemn the video bla bla with your "virtual verbal spewage" . I guarantee you , in a month or two months time , everything is back to normal and then people start to live their own shits , until another fucked up video shows up and then everyone gets all cranky . No hard feelings to the sympathizers , I understand you as much as you understand what I'm trying to convey here. It's just that , there are crueler shits out there in the world that isn't shown , and try not to get all cranky with a video , not like you could give a hand or contribute something to the said people in the vid .

Fucked up video ? No problem ! I'll just contribute with my keyboard !

Until then , remember the world is fucking itself upside down and when one video shows that shit , try not to get cranky . We all know its true , and pretty much acknowledging the shits only when a video shows up . That is pretty much what I wanted to say . I apologize for the vulgarities (Unavoidable lul ) . Goodbye peeps and have a good night . Ciao.

Thats so Hanky !

Yes its been a while since the last update . My apologies foremost . Been very " busy" lately . By busy I mean very lazy . So , I'll try to make up for that inactivity . Well , I'm sure everyone here knows what is a handkerchief yes ? Now , what is the fucking problem with men/boys having hankies ? Does that automatically make them seen as promoting effeminacy ?

"Hey look that dude has a hankie ! What a fag !"

A new challenger appears ! Faggotry Level 99 !

Now , let me clarify what is a fucking handkerchief (No it doesn't commit sexual intercourse) As quoted truthfully from Wikipedia , "A hemmed square of thin fabric that can be carried in the pocket or purse, and which is intended for personal hygiene purposes such as wiping one's hands or face, or blowing one's nose." Noticed the bolded parts . Now , how does that relate to being a faggot ? Seriously . They're way better than wiping your fucking mucus on your shirt/hand/trouser/face or blowing it back into your nose with a loud snort . Ew , disgusting mother****er. 


"A smudge on my face ? No tissue ? No hankie ? No worries ! Wipe on my shirt like a boss and tells everyone a bird shitted on my shirt because going to the restroom to wash it is so mainstream."

A bird shitted on your shirt ? Wow!

Now , if you had gone to Wikipedia , there is also a part where it is stated " The use of a cloth handkerchief is occasionally considered old-fashioned or unhygienic, or both, in some parts of the world, mainly due to the popularization of disposable paper handkerchiefs and the fact that they are stored in a pocket or a purse after being used. However they are a potentially more environment-conscious choice, as cloth handkerchiefs are reusable." Sure it is unhygienic but it is even more unhygienic when you wipe your damn sweat on your shirt and then proceeds to stink the people around you . So much for being hygienic . And as for the bolded parts , yes your doing the environment a favour by being eco-friendly .

" Look at the guy , using a hankie . Now if you think guys/men carrying tissue packets wouldn't look awkward , by all means please condemn the hankie"

IS THAT A HANKIE ? I'VE NOT SEEN ONE IN LIGHT-YEARS.

And if you think I do not make a point , yet again another truthfully quoted from Wikipedia , "Certainly they were in existence by Shakespeare's time, and a handkerchief is an important plot device in his play Othello." The hankie was Shakespearean in nature !!!!(Pulls hair)

Did you said Shakespeare ??!?!

Yes Mother****ing win Shakespeare.

The habit of carrying a hankie was cultivated when I was at an early age and until now , it still serves me well (Among these hot days) .And still serve its purpose . Until then go hanky ! Ciao !

Kindness of a Stranger

Everyone says Monday blues and how they hate it . Perhaps so , I was pretty frustrated at the weather . A moment it was sunny and then it started to rain . What brilliant weather we have indeed -.- And I needed to take photos for my Journalism feature writing and then it started to rain ? Oh fuck this shit .

The assignment is due Thursdayyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!

So I thought to myself , ah shit I can't take any pictures , I'll have to wait another time . I was losing hope and thought of plagiarizing someone else's picture. (Copy pastaaaaaaaaaaa) And then , among the crowd and people , I saw something . It was an old man with a luggage bag filled with buns . And he was distributing those buns to the disabled peeps who were mostly blind and the crippled who had to beg for money. The disabled peeps had set up small "stalls" that sell miscellaneous daily item such as tissue packets to the public but as usual , they will be ignored . Poor thing . They sit there whole day and no one gives a damn about them . And as I observed as the less fortunate received their bun , they kept nodding their head to the old man as a gesture of thank you and then proceeds to keep the bun like a treasure , stowed away in that old , worn-out plastic bag they carry their items with . My heart stopped for a moment . That indescribable feeling that surged through you when something so strong in emotion happens in front of you . 

 
 What caught my attention was that the unknown old man was distributing the buns . This act alone impressed me and I stood there watching the entire thing . The old man was going back and forth , looking at who he left out . The person who didn't receive a bun was given one , no matter whether he was a crippled , or a blind or a disabled person . Such profound act of kindness . I immediately questioned myself , would I do the same ? Perhaps not i assume , as we tend to be oblivious and live through out daily life without the care of others . Such individualistic traits .

Give those motherfuckers a penny you stingy bastard .

Even though the old man didn't knew who the people were , he was still willing to be kind to others . For a moment , I felt that I myself all along wasn't thankful and appreciative of the stuffs around me . Taking things for granted and all . But perhaps , after witnessing this , my faith in humanity has been restored . Thank you old man , for being the light of those who are trapped in darkness and showing me what kindness is all about . On second note , I nearly cried . I shall return there one day and see if the old man is still around giving a hand . I'd like to shake his hand . That was all that happened , and I was damn glad about it . Until next time , perhaps some life-changing experience shall be shared in this journal . Ciao !

Unknown old man , God Bless You.

Doing What I Do Best ? Perhaps .

Nobody ever died of laughter - Max Beebohm

Dear Journal ,
Indeed no one has (As far as I know) . The only possibility is that either that person was a clown or had a weak heart . Anyway , I've always had this feeling or thought that I had a good sense of humour . And I actually had sort of a dream to become a comedian one day . What a complete joke that turned out . But I got myself enrolled in Mass Communications instead . I even considered doing stand-up comedies for a living once .

Stalin approves funny !

But honestly , I've no idea where this is getting me . Yea sure it does entertains people , but you know jokes get stale as time pass . You'd know that feeling when your halfway telling a joke and someone cuts you and say , HEY I KNOW THIS JOKE and then proceeds to spoil the joke for everyone . Perhaps , if you're ugly enough maybe they'll laugh at you first before the joke even start . Woops , *let that slipped* D:

Also , there was a time where I considered voice-acting . There were days where I talked to myself , experimenting with different voices based on general stereotypical group of peoples or characters (You know what I mean) That with perfect facial expressions , voila ! Funny factor I call it .

Hey at least that person has a good sense of humour .

There were times I wondered whether this was my "potential" , the ability to make people laugh . Maybe . Though I'm not sure what the future awaits . We'll see . This is Peenie , writing off .





 The last person to laugh , gets the joke the last .

A Whine A Day , Keeps The Anger Away

Its that time again for some short yapping whining post . Yay . So , today's topic , Camwhoring . No its doesn't mean a prostitute whoring with a camera , but I do admire the imagination you have in mind . What it meant is that you whore the camera .


The Hows :
Simple really if you follow these steps. Fuck that shit . So much duckfacessssssssssssssssssss . And if shit couldn't get worst , just try googling duck face . My eyes , THEY BURN!!!

How are kids going to know a REAL duck looks like ?!?

Losing faith in humanity ? Try suicide , it works .

 
Seriously ? That shit make you look retarded rather than so called "cute" . Like you have a severe lip tumour or shit . Imagine . *takes photo with duckface* "YO YOU HAVE A SEIZURE OR SOMETHING ? CAUSE YOUR LIPS LOOKS F***ED UP !" Don't we know how to pose for a  proper photo anymore ? Has humanity degrade so much to the point of where we think we're frigging ducks ? 
For the last time , you are not a duck . So stop trying to mimic them . If you want to do that so badly , please kindly proceed to the nearest petting zoo and be a duck for all you want . Hey maybe you'd get your picture taken too ! A win-win situation indeed !

Show me your real face bitch ! Not some duckface horseshit.

 That pretty sums up the short yappy whiny post . Stay tune for more obscene interesting posts . Have a nice weekend .





Please don't make me lose faith in humanity . Take a proper photo . For everyone's sake.

The Name Factor

Everyone has names . Not those name you get called in school or teased at , but real names . Like the ones on your birth certificate . My point is , why in the world do you have a name long as the great wall of China or stupid   socially awkward . Yes , I'm talking about names in Facebook (Maybe in general if people call you those names) .You do know your name represents you , and with a name that sounds like it was taken from a bunch of jumbled up names (I bet some of the people choose their name like that , select a few "interesting" names , put in a bowl , pick 1) . We'll go through a few examples .

 
1) Names with fruit/vegetable
Such names would appear like this , Apple **** , Peach *** , Cheery **** , Vege **** and etc. Imagine . "HEY APPLE , I'M THIRSTY . WOULD YOU KINDLY MAKE A JUICE FOR ME ?" Oh the irony when that happens . Another thing , you look nothing like a fruit , you have a face . Face =/= Fruits , know the difference .

This is an apple and a face . Know it .

Seriously , Apple ? Peaches ? Vege? What is this a marketplace or what ?

2) Long names
Such names would appear like it was extracted from part of a statement or a sentence . Sure , take a deep breath before you say/pronounce your name . Imagine . "Hello ! My name is omgyouactually tooktime toreadthissentence." "I'm sorry what ? Your name is like the fucking Great Wall of China !"
Perhaps maybe according to your customs/culture , your name is suppose to be long , that is fine . But not when your born with a name and you add more to it to be so "breathtaking" Yea , breathtaking indeed .

I couldn't change my name in Facebook because they though my name was a sentence.

3)Jumbled up names
Still retaining their original names but jumbling up their name . What I assume is that , "Oh having normal names is sooooooooooo mainstream , why not I jumble them up like a deck of cards and see which alphabets shows first and I'll arrange it that order ." Like really ? This is your name and not some deck of cards or shit where you jumble them up and see what magical name you get . Imagine . "Original name is , Mark Low. Jumbled up name is , Lorm Kaw" Yea , sure looks legit .

I think I must have jumbled up my keyboard keys when I registered my name !

4)Socially Awkward names
Still retaining their original name but adding a name or a word which has totally no direct connection to it or doesn't make any sense . Such names would include TV characters name , comic characters , superheroes , cartoon character names , daily objects , metals and more . Imagine . "Hi , would you add me on Facebook ? Yes , my name is Goku Chan ." DAFUQ ? GOKU ? Who you think you are giving yourself the name Goku ? So not worthy of it . Or " Hello , add me , Optimus Lee ." Seriously , Optimus ? Did you get that name from watching Transformers ? I'm sure you did . Or perhaps "Nice to meet you , I'm Titanium Wong" Dude , get a better choice of name man . BUT , if you were born with that name , I so totally understand it . (Your parents must be one helluva parent naming their child that kind of name) .

Dora ?!?!? Hey I'm Rock . Yea , looks so legit :3

So anyway , that is just a few examples of names that people have . Please for the sake of humanity , try having a better and more acceptable name . And as I have said earlier , if you're born with that name , I UNDERSTAND IT TOTALLY , BUT PLEASE DO CLARIFY FROM YOUR PARENTS (Poor choice of name they chose indeed) . It must have been pretty interesting having that sort of name , you know , unusual names that make people go WTF/Are You Serious . So , I hope you guys had a good time reading this (Perhaps a good laugh) and have a nice day :D





Names , by all means , is to encourage people to make fun of it .

Blog That Shit , Make Em A Fool.

Hello ! Its Peeni again ! And its frigging October . Anyway , what I'd like to point out today is....whats with the urgency and inconsideration of certain drivers . Jeez , its like they think they own the entire street/road/whatever shit your car moves on and doesn't give a rat ass about giving signals while maneuvering .

Neural Breakdown Imminent . Idiocy Overwhelming.

Fucking inconsiderate bastards . And the urgency , why the rush ? Jeopardizing other fucking drivers on the road . UNLESS YOUR GETTING LAID , URGENCY IS NOTHING , EVEN WHEN YOU'RE LATE . Perhaps either you reader are one of em , there I said my part . Stop being a dick please , unless you're getting laid .

 

Speeding for a good purpose .

Remember kids , DONT FUCKING MAKE US ROAD RAGE UNLESS UR GETTING LAID.
End. Period .






If your getting laid in your car while driving , that is a different story.